The funny stories in our jobs...?

So alright, many people think that working for a foreign ministry is a cushy job.. they also think that their taxes as misused and that people working for the foreign ministry are bound to be entirely at their services...(I mean, why else would those people work at a consulate for??)

"Being an asshole is not a handicap, park elsewhere!"

Personally, I lived abroad since I was 19, and never never never, would it cross my mind to even consider going to my country's consulate for things that I now know are or could be made possible by the consulate's staff ; things that they are actually there for...(but maybe I am just naive, or just a hands on person who prefers sorting herself out rather than seeking for help...?)

Anyway,I recently heard some stories from other consulate staff (including other European countries) that made me laugh so I thought I would let you know what some people come and ask us to do...so you have a rough idea of our daily lives.. ** for confidential reasons, no countries or names will be mentioned but I assure you that those are mixed stories from mixed people from mixed countries (yeah that type of giant orgy)

Apart of general inquiries about "where to have Christmas dinner in Cape Town", or request to the consular staff to "meet someone's dog on arrival at customs and help it through the customs process", or even request on "tips for best fishing spots and where to find the most popular fish bait", or even request to staff to help fix a broken geyser, or request for drug dealers contacts for fixes.. we do have a collection of funny stories :

A request came in from a man who had been left stranded at the airport (semi naked and bonded) by his dominatrix girlfriend - Needless to say that it took a while to have him un-cuffed by the police before getting him home.

who am I????

A young lady comes in swiftly into the reception with an old man asking to see someone for a passport renewal. By the time someone came to attend, the lady was gone but had left the older man alone with a note hanging from his neck "I am old, I have Alzheimer, I am french, please send me home" - Needless to say that it took hours trying to just figure out who that old man was as he was abandoned by his girlfriend with no papers and no money.

Someone comes in asking to see someone as a matter of urgency, because an alien invasion in about to take place and we need to evacuate the country! The aliens are on their way, it was told to this person and we must leave at once before their spying devices reach us and get inside our bodies... the poor lady was also convinced that she was pregnant with an alien baby and refused to pee in the loo as she was scared something would go up her bum, so urinated in a glass vase belonging to the consulate and was convinced that they were baby aliens inside her urine. She was taken to the doctor (as she requested to have an aids test done, escorted by a consular staff) and carried her urine with her all along...she also nearly stole a staff lunch bunch as she needed to go for a number two....

We are laughing at some of the poor requests that come in across different countries, and some of the sordid stories that we do come across, and gosh, there are tons of those, but we do have some serious requests for help... and those are the deeds we need to allocate more time on... so please... do not call your consulate if you need the words "I love you" to be translated in Afrikaans, or if you want to know what to wear to a braai, or even if you are looking for recipes or builders or drugs... Google is a great friend when it comes to helping you out, give it a go and you'll never have to call your consulate ever again!!!

If you have any funny stories you would like to share, please mail pop us a line!! :)