7th September : BALKONOLOGY @ the Biscuit Mill

After a brutal winter of snow and rain falling from the skies like wooden stakes, the suave undead, aching for a social gathering befitting of their stature, are stirring in their lavish mausoleums.
For the news has reached them like the scent of the young, beautiful and mortal: The clans shall congregate once more in a celebration for the Masked Vampyre Ball – 1819!

The master has sent for James to polish his most expensive Twoshoes for when the clock strikes 21:00 the precocious young vampires of the Imp-aler Orchestra under the conductorship of the Esteemed Lord Vlad the VI  shall serenade the ballroom of the undead with symphonies of the great composer, Maoriginal. The non-blood relations that make the duo of Nôze, has also sent a missive confirming their attendance.

In Cloak Towne, the Nomadic Orchestra shall have even the most distinguished guest swinging like a rabid bat from the crystal chandeliers. In the old Transvaalania we have summoned Bram Stoker himself to read from his classic tome.

This event, dear reader, will be a opulent blue-blooded affair. Guests are reminded to make their preparations in due time as to not be caught off-guard, for the revelry shall be such, that daylight might sneak up upon the proceedings and vaporize the ill-equipped!

For the brave amongst us, throw a roll of the dice and partake in the game of chance. Receive a Kiss or get bitten by Santanico Pandemonium, primary Queen Vampyre, rescued by our brave team from the ruins of the Titty Twister.

Hematologists unite, for there will be blood.

Lineup:
Noze (France)
Vlad & the mini Imp’alers Orchestra (Transylvania)
Bram Stoker, Live readings from his classic novel -JHB only-
Nomadic Orchestra -CPT only-
Toby2shoes
Maoriginal

Tickets: R160 presold, R200 at the door
Outlets:
Truth Coffee, 36 Buitenkant Street 021 2000440
SKA – 161 Long St. – 021 426 5025
SKA – Kalk Bay 17 main rd. – 021 788 7437
SKA – Observatory, 105 lower main rd. – 021 447 6014,
Cavendish Centre (connect): 021-6711367


info:
www.thebeanstalk.co.za
maor@thebeanstalk.co.za
0722115563

Event organized as part of the France-South Africa Seasons 2012 & 2013.

2 tickets up for grap for Kill the DJ tour in Cape Town!!!

For Toy Toy's first birthday and part of the Season of France, the Jozi-based underground house and tech brand is celebrating with Kill the DJ from France. 

Catch Ivan Smagghe, widely considered France's most wanted radio host and Chloé, well known for her ability to captivate the dance floor as her dark, sensual undertones bring her music to life. 

Alongside these internationals, catch Killer Robot and Monique Pascal.

Win 2 tickets for Cape Town's Party at Fiction, Long street, 15th September, by following this blog and answering the following :

Name one of Chloé's album!!

GOOD LUCK!!!!

The funny stories in our jobs...?

So alright, many people think that working for a foreign ministry is a cushy job.. they also think that their taxes as misused and that people working for the foreign ministry are bound to be entirely at their services...(I mean, why else would those people work at a consulate for??)

"Being an asshole is not a handicap, park elsewhere!"

Personally, I lived abroad since I was 19, and never never never, would it cross my mind to even consider going to my country's consulate for things that I now know are or could be made possible by the consulate's staff ; things that they are actually there for...(but maybe I am just naive, or just a hands on person who prefers sorting herself out rather than seeking for help...?)

Anyway,I recently heard some stories from other consulate staff (including other European countries) that made me laugh so I thought I would let you know what some people come and ask us to do...so you have a rough idea of our daily lives.. ** for confidential reasons, no countries or names will be mentioned but I assure you that those are mixed stories from mixed people from mixed countries (yeah that type of giant orgy)

Apart of general inquiries about "where to have Christmas dinner in Cape Town", or request to the consular staff to "meet someone's dog on arrival at customs and help it through the customs process", or even request on "tips for best fishing spots and where to find the most popular fish bait", or even request to staff to help fix a broken geyser, or request for drug dealers contacts for fixes.. we do have a collection of funny stories :

A request came in from a man who had been left stranded at the airport (semi naked and bonded) by his dominatrix girlfriend - Needless to say that it took a while to have him un-cuffed by the police before getting him home.

who am I????

A young lady comes in swiftly into the reception with an old man asking to see someone for a passport renewal. By the time someone came to attend, the lady was gone but had left the older man alone with a note hanging from his neck "I am old, I have Alzheimer, I am french, please send me home" - Needless to say that it took hours trying to just figure out who that old man was as he was abandoned by his girlfriend with no papers and no money.

Someone comes in asking to see someone as a matter of urgency, because an alien invasion in about to take place and we need to evacuate the country! The aliens are on their way, it was told to this person and we must leave at once before their spying devices reach us and get inside our bodies... the poor lady was also convinced that she was pregnant with an alien baby and refused to pee in the loo as she was scared something would go up her bum, so urinated in a glass vase belonging to the consulate and was convinced that they were baby aliens inside her urine. She was taken to the doctor (as she requested to have an aids test done, escorted by a consular staff) and carried her urine with her all along...she also nearly stole a staff lunch bunch as she needed to go for a number two....

We are laughing at some of the poor requests that come in across different countries, and some of the sordid stories that we do come across, and gosh, there are tons of those, but we do have some serious requests for help... and those are the deeds we need to allocate more time on... so please... do not call your consulate if you need the words "I love you" to be translated in Afrikaans, or if you want to know what to wear to a braai, or even if you are looking for recipes or builders or drugs... Google is a great friend when it comes to helping you out, give it a go and you'll never have to call your consulate ever again!!!

If you have any funny stories you would like to share, please mail pop us a line!! :)

Cape Town and the hunt for the snow

So for some of you who have been away from home for many years, there are things in life that you used to dislike for which you would today literally kill to have again.

And I have many!! So I could list all the weird food I would kill for (like confit duck gizzards and haribo rolls) but there is something yet more silly I've been missing for many years.
That burning feeling on my hands, face, and legs... That crispy deep noise when you walk on it and the painful feeling when you slip and fall ass first on it : SNOW!

Rumor has it, you can see snow close to CT, and where there is rumor, I just have to see it to believe it.
So my bf organized for this long week end to secretly take me away on a romantic trip by the sea, but I had other plans...

After an exhausting search for the perfect and available place, reflections has actually found us!

Not a  broken car, nor any other mystical last minute horror misadventure would have stopped me on my hunt for that feeling... We'll be going to Tulbagh, just past Ceres where it says to snow sometimes...

While France is finally hitting summer temperatures, and Cape Town is drowning in rains, I have decided to pack my bags and see the snow for myself. Couple of days earlier, there were snow reports close to Durban and Jhb where it just never is likely to snow. I was officially jealous!!

So after getting slightly lost, finally made it to the small town of Tulbagh.
We have found our week end home and settle in nicely.

Only problem : too warm and sunny! So, we decided to take advantage and went on the small lake and enjoy the sunshine. The week end had just started, I was still hopeful for a cold front!

Unfortunately, another sunny day the following day so we decided to visit the neighboring farms and go horse ridding with Antoinette and her daughter on her huuuuge farm ... While still trying to get hold of Ceres Tourist information center! (no response and last recorded message was from 14th July! Like hello! We are nearly in mid august people!)

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and decided to just give it a go, drive to Ceres and find some snow! And how lucky was I, as just when arrived, the hail started followed by snow! So we drove as high as we could up the Matroosberg mountain..and snow there was! Oh Joy!!!!

There I was like a 5 year old child being told Christmas is coming early, and Yes, Christmas did come in August!!!!

In order to make it to the top of the mountain, you will need a 4x4 or 4x2 vehicle! But do not despair, as the reserve also organizes (for well behaved people as they told us) a ride to the top on this army like enormous 4x2 vehicle! So tourist or prepared, everyone can make a snow man!

Hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did and way more than my poor bf whose feet froze after an entire 5 minutes! So come prepared!!!

Fitting in in Cape Town with some local Slang...A to C

So ok, you have just arrived in Cape Town!Yes, you have finally made it to the one of the wonders of the world...

Whether you have traveled the world already or dreamed about Cape Town from your couch for the last so many years, in order to get "welcomed" and "understood" in this hood, you ought to know couple of friendly or not so friendly things to say to a local (or not to say)..

Some of your may have seen this before...

Now... not so easy with 11 official languages in SA (wtf???) but below some of my favorite things easy enough to remember for our little European brains...

Ag 

Pronounced like the ach in German, but with a 'g' on the end. Roll that 'g'! "Ag, no man" - sign of irritation. Many purposes. Often used in "Ag Shame" - not a shame at all, rather to say ooooh it's so sweet!

Babbelas ('Bub-be-las')

A hangover. Normally a pretty damn bad hangover!

Befok, befuck                                                                                                                                           
Wild, crazy, excellent, great! This is used two ways: "he went befok" (he lost it completely!) or "that's befuck!" (that's awesome!) - Careful, don't get confused in the use or you might get befucked by getting punched in your face

Biltong

This is specially prepared dried raw meat, made from beef, venison or ostrich... You ought to try it as a aperitif, a snack or for your dog... bring it back home, people are fascinated by this stuff.

Boerewors

Farmstyle sausage or "wors". (Literally, "Farmers Sausage"). It is consumed in vast quantities on braais (bbq)all over the country. Also note a Boer is a farmer but also referred to as the white south African man from Holland...

Bokkie vs Boykie

Watch this one!!! Bokkie is a young, pretty lady; or girlfriend whereas Boykie is a little boy - So careful when used or your might come across as a Battie Boy (gay man)

Braai

Barbie, Barbeque..
Extremely popular SA occupation. Men take great pride in preparing this event; and is probably the only time the average South African man does something around the house! (just the messy part, the woman is still up for cleaning and preparing the salads!) Usually at these events, you will find the men around the fire, beer in hands, not making much of the cooking and the women in kitchen complaining about the men...a real must see for us foreigners..

Chips vs Crisps

Good luck with that one.. whether you want lays Crisps or hot chips, the same word is used!  

Crash

Not an accident, but a term for sleeping, or squatting at your place - "Do you want to crash out at my place? - Do you want sleep over at my place?"

Cookie

My favorit of them all, as it refers to the V-Gina!!! "

The next few days

After a very busy week end filled with french movies....

This week end I saw The beloved (I enjoyed the story line but not keen on the musical side of it)
Love lasts 3 years (definitely a must see, witty, funny and Louise Bourgoin is just beautiful)
Chicken with plums (some much darker sense of french Humour...)

It's definitely time to have a good time and add some vitamins into my life..

So join me and many others at Zula Bar this Wednesday at 9pm for :

Les doigts de l'homme - see their "my space page" here for more info

FRENCH FILM TICKETS UP FOR GRAB

You lucky People!!!! Yes, I have some spare tickets up for Grab for the French Film Festival!!!

To enter, simply become a follower of this blog, comment on this post by giving me a good reason why I should give you, yes you the tickets!!!

Tickets available for 2 people at the Cinema Nouveau at the V&A Waterfront

FRIDAY 3rd August  

6pm
35 shots of rum  
Americano 
8pm

Chicken with Plums

 

SATURDAY 4th August

3pm 

Love last 3 years

6pm

Beau Travail
Declaration of war

8pm

Farewell my Queen
35 shots of rum 

SUNDAY 5th August 

6pm

Love last 3 years
Chiken with plums

8pm

Angele and Tony
Americano

SAPS - South African Police

I thought it was quite funny when yesterday, driving on the N2, I spotted a cop car hiding in the bush...(we are in South Africa after all and bushes are to be expected everywhere..) only to realise it was yet another «mobile speed camera»  set up..

But wait for it...the choice of set up is definitely worth a gold medal: On top of a bridge trying to catch the outgoing traffic out of town. Check out the pic... Ok, the pic is not great but lets be reminded not to use our so useful phones while driving - but that little dot on top of the bridge is really a cop with a speed camera.. I promise!


N2 Just towards Cape Town - coming out of Pineland

What else are they gonna come up with to try to get some money?
For info, there are laws in SA stating that a mobile camera has to be visible at 30metres away... So even as a Mum with eyes in the back of my head, how am I supposed to see that coming?

The aftermath of the French Film Festival Opening night

If you weren't there... well, you simply weren't there.. what can I say?

 Alba lounge welcomed us for a cocktail party with its beautiful setting - but chilly winds (Then again, what else to expect in Cape Town?)

At least Natalie Becker got it right and came prepared with what she calls a duvet (Made out to a pretty jacket of course)

Editor from Marie Claire magazine also joined in but looked rather bored at the party (lets hope she enjoyed the movie and the rest of the evening before splashing all over the show how boring the French are at a party... or was she the one not mingling?....don't be afraid of the French shower lady!!!

I must admit, I enjoyed the movie "Farewell my Queen". Not entirely what I was expecting but should I have read any review on the movie, I could have had a better idea of the result.. I just stopped at the pretty lady in the picture being somewhat fascinated by the Marie Antoinette story and life.. (Thanks to Kirsten Dunst mainly) So I was expecting yet another fun movie about MA lavish lifestyle with booze, drugs and lots of sex.. Instead, I got an intimate, unflaggingly energetic history as seen from the servants' quarters. Nice twist!!
An interesting love story with real emotions in the last 3 days of the Queen's life..

WORTH A WATCH!!!!

Screening again at cinema nouveau V&A on saturday@8pm

We finished the evening with Film Director/ Producer Ramadan Suleman, who is indeed a fascinating man... The focus on his movie tonight @6pm Zulu love letter with Q&A After the screening!! DONT MISS OUT!!!

2 Tickets for grab for the Opening of the French Film Festival

2 tickets for grab for the opening of the French Film Festival!!

Included, invitation to the cocktail party followed by the screening of "Farewell my Queen"

1789. On the eve of the French Revolution, those living at the Court of Versailles continue to lead carefree, uninhibited lives, far from the growing unrest in Paris. When news of the assault on the Bastille reaches the court’s ears, the nobles flee along with their servants, deserting the palace… But Sidonie Laborde, a young reader of the Court who is devoted to the Queen, refuses to believe the rumours. She is certain that under Marie-Antoinette’s protection she will come to no harm. Little does she know that these will be the last three days she will spend at her queen’s side.

click here to view the trailer

To enter, simply follow this blog and comment on this post!!!

Some Cool Fashion Blog with a French Flair

I know I know, after such a long silence, why would I suddenly want to literally pollute the blog world with so many posts in one day...?? I am far from being a fashion follower after all

I could come up with a million reasons, including just the desire to annoy some of my friends but none the less.. The truth is simple! So much info, so many cool things to do and see.. just so much info out there... 

I am really not bored, as a matter of fact, I am overwhelmed with work and events to prepare, but those two are just really worth a check out! 

http://www.frenshionista.com/

This one is Kids fashion in Cape Town.

This talented lady, not only blogs but also has her own label for kids available at the Biscuit Mill
For more info, visit http://www.theworldofpetitpois.com/

http://www.wherethewildkidsare.com/

FRENCH FILM FESTIVAL - 2nd Edition Back In Cape Town

 Wether you are French, French loving or just loving movies, this is something not to miss...

Opening tonight (by invitation only) and running until the 5th August! :)

I will surely be there and will update on gossips, celebs and what not to miss!!

About the French Film Festival in South Africa

With already an exceptional year for French cinema (The Artist, Intouchables,…), the French Institute of South Africa and the Alliances Françaises of Cape Town, Johannesburg, Pretoria, Port Elizabeth and Durban, are pleased to present the second edition of the French Film Festival in South Africa which, this year, will take place within the framework of the France-South Africa Seasons 2012 & 2013.


A word from the organisers:

Last year’s successful first edition of the French Film Festival in South Africa, made it possible to renew this exclusive rendezvous dedicated to French cinema in the South African landscape, and more particularly to validate a format which we decided to repeat this year. This format is based on, firstly, a compact yet rich selection of films that have been distributed in France during the year, secondly a large geographic coverage, thereby making it possible to reach a wider public throughout the country and, finally, reserving a special place for a South African cinematographic personality whose work will be emphasised.
This year again, we are pleased to share with you the best of contemporary French cinema, through works which were selected or won awards in various international festivals. We chose outstanding and imposing films directed by renowned directors, such as Les adieux à la reine (Farewell my queen), Les bien-aimés (Beloved), La guerre est declare (Declaration of War), and others more confidential yet widely hailed by critics and publics alike, such as Angèle et Tony (Angel & Tony), Americano and Poulet aux prunes (Chicken with Plums).
We also opted to introduce you, through three of her films, to one of the most prominent contemporary French film-makers, Claire Denis, whose work has strong links with the African continent. Finally, this year we would like to pay homage to Ramadan Suleman, the most French of all South African film directors, by inviting you to rediscover one of his strongest films: Zulu Love Letter.
No doubt you will let yourselves be enchanted by this panorama of remarkable works. French cinema is above all art-house cinema, the cinema of sensibilities and assumed subjective visions of the world and human relations. In addition to their entertainment value, the films presented this year will certainly not leave you indifferent. Some will not just apply the retinal persistence principle, but will imprint themselves permanently in your mind, in your soul, to finally open new unsuspected horizons…
We hope that you will be as numerous, and above all as filled with wonder and delighted by the magic of French cinema as last year, for this 2nd French Film Festival, undoubtedly one of the most glamorous highlights of the French Season in South Africa 2012!