Looking for The Man???

As a teen and young adult female, we all had some strict set standards about what we wanted in a boyfriend, right?
Personally, I liked them tall, blond with blue eyes.. and well, the rest, was not so much of a worry at that time. Range of specifics that evolved with time, experience and most importantly : AVAILABILITY.
And as time goes by, availability become scarce and we feel sometimes related to the cold war!

Cold war really seems to set in just after your 30th birthday for some reason, and you suddenly realise that the only type of men that you seem to find somewhat attractive are all MARRIED! (then again those were always picked first!!) - ALL are married!

Some married men love to flaunt their wedding ring in order to send a very clear message : Only looking for a mistress, so forget the long walks on long beach on Sunday afternoons.
The others, more cheeky, remove the ring, long enough to seduce you so that they can feel that they are still in the game, and at the end of the evening, very innocently between two sentences, as if nothing : "I play golf, I am married, I love jazz and am father of two kids, and used to play guitar, was quite good at it too!"

You are thinking of throwing your G&T in his face and turn back but suddenly realise that once again, he was the only good looking, somewhat interesting dude here and usually, you had already fallen under his charm and you are already willing to take him to your hut...

In all defense, these men come with very valid and plausible excuses that allows you for a time to have faith and to get naked in the bushes; as you wish :

- We are separated but not divorced yet as the kids are going shit and already have bullying issues at school
- We are separated but not divorced yet as it is financially not viable
- We are separated but not yet divorced cuz my ex is very vulnerable right now.. ( a few to name some)

So why would you care after all? This is F-buddy situation after all and no strings attached so WTF?
But lets be honest, as all women, totally incapable to keep -  for a period of time - seeing someone and sharing intimate moments without at some point developing some form of feeling or attach...

So weeks, months and maybe years go by and he never stays overnight, you never share breakfast, he is only available between 9am and 6pm, and is never reachable over the week end - But has a million reasons, shame.. while you wait...and wait...and wait.... UNTIL that Saturday afternoon, on Clifton, where you see him, hand in hand with his pregnant wife and his two kids - what a nice family they make!

Avoid the married men at all cost, they will never leave their wife.. I mean, they might have to do their own laundry if they do! crazy thought!

So what's left out there?
- Men who love men ; these can annoy me cuz one gay couple = 2 less men available for us women
- The psychos; ie those who iron their underwear, watch chick flicks, or have kept their VHS movies
- Those who compare you to their mothers all the time
- The Dicks on leg who would bone your best friend and the farm donkey too
- Those wearing dungarees

So what do we do? Well, let me put it this way, my convo with a mate the other day
- Cat, Your guy, he is a bit of an asshole, isn't he?
- Well, yeah, but not phased, at least he is straight
- Ok but he just kicked the cat
- Yeah I know, he will probably bring it home and try to bone the dead animal, but doesn't matter, at least he is not married
- You do know he has been seen selling tik to kids outside the school, right?
- Yes, doesn't matter, at least he doesn't wear dungarees

So you look at it differently and redefine your idea of happiness...

The only problem is when you actually do find the right guy:
- Hey babe, just look at this picture and tell me what you think, ok?
- ok but honey, this is a picture of a naked man
- so do you like? does it turn you on?
- come on, you are being silly now, of course not
- and do you love your mummy?
- Honey, she is passed
- Great news, and... are you married?
- No of course not, I would have told you
- and why not?
- I suppose I never met the one
- come on, what's the real reason huh?
- huh?
- Yes, you are 35, never been married, what"s wrong with you??
- ???

And you end up looking like a crazy 30 something desperate to get hitched!